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Paleo Chips

Paleo Schmaleo – 16 snacks that will make living with your paleo partner pleasantly palatable

Your significant other has picked up on the latest health craze: The Paleo Diet. The premise of this diet is simple: “If a caveman had access to it, it must be good for you.” Basically, we pump all our modern foods full of chemicals, preservatives, and god knows what else; Cave people did not. Have you ever seen a fat caveman? (Not counting Fred Flintstone).

I’m a recovering taco bell addict. I was on a first name basis with the crew at McDonalds.

In my house, I admittedly do a lot more of the eating than I do of the shopping and cooking. I’m a recovering taco bell addict. I was on a first name basis with the crew at McDonalds. Once, after a night of excess, I woke up in the What-A-Burger parking lot with a half-eaten burger still in hand (ahhhh… college).

Flash forward ten years, I have not only found a loving girlfriend who puts up with me, but she is kindly trying to help change my fast-living (and gut-expanding) ways. Now that the love of your life has joined the world of cave eaters, how are you going to cope?

I am no expert on the diet, but I know that if she’s on it, then I’m on it. If you have found yourself in a similar situation with your man or woman, I did a bit of digging and compiled this list I like to call….

Paleo Schmaleo

It can be hard to recover from a diet consisting mostly of processed sugars and simple carbs. Whenever my girlfriend would lovingly present me with a plate of beautifully prepared zucchini spaghetti or sweet potato pancakes, it was clear that my brain had been spoiled. My brain was not that of the simple caveman. My brain wanted the satisfying sensation of biting into a big mac. My brain wanted sloppy joes and doritos and butterfingers and milkshakes. (Still does).

My brain wanted the satisfying sensation of biting into a big mac.

In order to be respectful of your partner’s new dietary choices, and keep the peace at home – try slipping these ideas over to your Wilma or Barney Rubble and keep your spoiled brain happy at the same time. Win/Win.

Paleo Version of Your Favorite Junk Food:

  1. The Paleo Big Mac
  2. Butterfingers
  3. Doritos (Locos!)
  4. Paleo Approved Alcohol
  5. Best Donut Recipe
  6. Chic-Fil-A
  7. Paleoreos
  8. Paleo Pop-Tarts
  9. Snickers Bar
  10. Paleo Sausage Egg McMuffin
  11. Pork Rinds
  12. Paleo Mac N Cheese
  13. Banana Cinnamon Waffles
  14. Paleo Salt and Vinegar (Sweet) Potato Chips
  15. Onion Rings
  16. Paleo Gluten-Free Cheese Sticks

Do you have any diet hacks of your own? Share your cheating recipes in the comments. I’d love to hear what kind of paleolithic diet junk food you sneaky bastards come up with.

 

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